AJ's taking over kids. While Christian's off getting in touch with his inner Andrea Bargnani, I'll be trying to stay on top of what's going on around the league for the next little while.
Hardly feels like it, but the playoffs started well over a month ago. I’ve spent so many hours waist-deep in Chinese food and Kingpins for the annual playoff hibernation that days just sorta run together now. My perception of time’s been seriously warped by this 40 games in 40 nights thing, and 12 series later we’re already at the conference finals with the four most likely teams (if any could’ve been considered “likely”) left gunning for a title. All the survivors of the opening round melees are balanced and talented enough to guarantee us basketball junkies won’t have to sit through another Finals that plays out like the first fifteen minutes of Saving Private Ryan; there’s some sick ball yet to come. But before I get too far ahead of myself, it’s probably time for a look back at what’s been going on; besides, Christian’s been M.I.A so nothing’s been put up for a while, and the jackhammer outside my window that woke me up at 8:30 isn’t stopping anytime soon. So here’s some thoughts on the last few weeks:
- I’ll get the draft out of the way first. The Bulls, who have to win the “You Had No Fucking Business in the Lottery” award, sucked out for the first pick. They’re not necessarily shallow at the one or four and neither Derrick Rose nor Michael Beasley would be a bad fit on this team. But they should do Miami a favour and scoop Beastley, who may be slightly undersized at the four but could develop into that interior scoring threat they’ve lacked for so long under a ceiling that’s higher than the O.D.B. Miami can proceed to claim the most athletic backcourt in the L, while teams like Seattle and Minnesota are already sorta countin’ down the days until next year’s lottery while praying that Brook Lopez, Jerryd Bayless or OJ Mayo pan out.
- Mike D’Antoni’s move to the Knicks is also huge; I like it for both teams. Phoenix gave up their speed when they added Shaq and need to take a slower approach that D’Antoni clearly isn’t feeling, while New York gets a coach who a) Isn’t Isiah Thomas and b) Is already making free agents salivate at the prospect of playing in his offense under the bright lights of the Garden.
- Back to the playoffs, hats off to the New Orleans Hornets. Sure, they squandered 2-0 and 3-2 leads, but it was against the Spurs. Any coming-from-behind the Spurs do against you is more forgivable by default. Their core’s way ahead of their time and just held court in the West all year, bitch-slapped Dallas, and took the millennium’s best team to seven. Watching the dwindling last minutes of Chris Paul’s season, he was all Bambi-eyed; understandably upset that he’d come so close to slaying a giant and fallen short but from the profoundness of the look on his face you’d think he was never getting another shot at it. Don’t worry buddy, you’ve proven yourself as the best point guard by miles and nobody’s slighting your squad anymore: they’re the real fucking deal.
- Meanwhile, Cavs fans should keep their hats firmly on and remain seated. Forget that they dragged the Celtics to game seven amidst woeful shooting from Lebron and an injury to Daniel Gibson. Boston played some of its worst ball of the season and gave Cleveland plenty of chances to win this series. They responded by taking questionable shots, missing crucial free-throws and fucking up a play that resulted in their failure to inbound the ball on the season’s most important possession.
- I don’t know what performance-enhancing drug the Celtics have been feeding Rajon Rondo, but the league really needs to start screening for that shit. Rajon also needs to get a hold of Kia and talk a spokesman deal.
- I also don’t know when Sasha Vujacic evolved from a nervous turnover waiting to happen into the type of player who calls himself “The Machine”, but I can’t remember the last time I saw him miss a three-pointer.
- Kevin Garnett’s been lights-out. During a recently-aired halftime interview, Bill Russell (11 titles in 13 years, two as a player-coach if ya don’t know) praised KG’s skill and determination, promising him one of his rings if he falls short as a Celtic. I’m sure he’d love to cop his own but that kind of gift from the greatest winner in the history of team sports has gotta serve as the ultimate consolation prize. And if anyone deserves it, it’s him.
- Mark Cuban recently made an appearance on national radio during which he admitted to past marijuana use and came to the defense of embattled swingman Josh Howard’s offseason sessions. Personally, I commend his support of his players and completely agree with his outlook, but c’mon Mark, your team’s season was reminiscent of The Benefactor and they need to get their act together. This is not the way to set a stern example.
- Reggie Miller is insufferable. He forces viewers to endure his irrelevant comments, terrible jokes and John Madden-ish obvious statements, all delivered in a whiny voice. At least five times every game he says something that makes me seriously wonder how he and whoever at TNT decided to put a mic in his hand still have jobs.
- The favourites? I’ve been saying the Lakers for a while now and I’m still convinced. Thing is, they look like the closest thing to a favourite but they're far from a lock to even win the West. They’ve got a long way to go against the Spurs, but they looked more like the Lakeshow we’ve seen all year in the second half of Game 1 and came from twenty down against San Antonio to win. Come on. Nobody fucking does that against the Spurs. Letting Duncan get his (which inevitably happens) and focusing on limiting Parker and Ginobili’s penetration seemed to work. All of a sudden getting key contributions from The Machine on D couldn’t hurt either. The tell-tale fact is that the Spurs needed Kobe to disappear for a half to get an edge before he kindly reminded them not to get used to it. If they can get a monster game from Timmy, have Kobe drop deuce in the first half, hold a 20-point lead and still lose, they need to revise their game plan. But it’s the Spurs we’re talking about here, of course they will. I just can’t bet against the Zen Master, currently 40-0 in series where he draws first blood.
Hardly feels like it, but the playoffs started well over a month ago. I’ve spent so many hours waist-deep in Chinese food and Kingpins for the annual playoff hibernation that days just sorta run together now. My perception of time’s been seriously warped by this 40 games in 40 nights thing, and 12 series later we’re already at the conference finals with the four most likely teams (if any could’ve been considered “likely”) left gunning for a title. All the survivors of the opening round melees are balanced and talented enough to guarantee us basketball junkies won’t have to sit through another Finals that plays out like the first fifteen minutes of Saving Private Ryan; there’s some sick ball yet to come. But before I get too far ahead of myself, it’s probably time for a look back at what’s been going on; besides, Christian’s been M.I.A so nothing’s been put up for a while, and the jackhammer outside my window that woke me up at 8:30 isn’t stopping anytime soon. So here’s some thoughts on the last few weeks:
- I’ll get the draft out of the way first. The Bulls, who have to win the “You Had No Fucking Business in the Lottery” award, sucked out for the first pick. They’re not necessarily shallow at the one or four and neither Derrick Rose nor Michael Beasley would be a bad fit on this team. But they should do Miami a favour and scoop Beastley, who may be slightly undersized at the four but could develop into that interior scoring threat they’ve lacked for so long under a ceiling that’s higher than the O.D.B. Miami can proceed to claim the most athletic backcourt in the L, while teams like Seattle and Minnesota are already sorta countin’ down the days until next year’s lottery while praying that Brook Lopez, Jerryd Bayless or OJ Mayo pan out.
- Mike D’Antoni’s move to the Knicks is also huge; I like it for both teams. Phoenix gave up their speed when they added Shaq and need to take a slower approach that D’Antoni clearly isn’t feeling, while New York gets a coach who a) Isn’t Isiah Thomas and b) Is already making free agents salivate at the prospect of playing in his offense under the bright lights of the Garden.
- Back to the playoffs, hats off to the New Orleans Hornets. Sure, they squandered 2-0 and 3-2 leads, but it was against the Spurs. Any coming-from-behind the Spurs do against you is more forgivable by default. Their core’s way ahead of their time and just held court in the West all year, bitch-slapped Dallas, and took the millennium’s best team to seven. Watching the dwindling last minutes of Chris Paul’s season, he was all Bambi-eyed; understandably upset that he’d come so close to slaying a giant and fallen short but from the profoundness of the look on his face you’d think he was never getting another shot at it. Don’t worry buddy, you’ve proven yourself as the best point guard by miles and nobody’s slighting your squad anymore: they’re the real fucking deal.
- Meanwhile, Cavs fans should keep their hats firmly on and remain seated. Forget that they dragged the Celtics to game seven amidst woeful shooting from Lebron and an injury to Daniel Gibson. Boston played some of its worst ball of the season and gave Cleveland plenty of chances to win this series. They responded by taking questionable shots, missing crucial free-throws and fucking up a play that resulted in their failure to inbound the ball on the season’s most important possession.
- I don’t know what performance-enhancing drug the Celtics have been feeding Rajon Rondo, but the league really needs to start screening for that shit. Rajon also needs to get a hold of Kia and talk a spokesman deal.
- I also don’t know when Sasha Vujacic evolved from a nervous turnover waiting to happen into the type of player who calls himself “The Machine”, but I can’t remember the last time I saw him miss a three-pointer.
- Kevin Garnett’s been lights-out. During a recently-aired halftime interview, Bill Russell (11 titles in 13 years, two as a player-coach if ya don’t know) praised KG’s skill and determination, promising him one of his rings if he falls short as a Celtic. I’m sure he’d love to cop his own but that kind of gift from the greatest winner in the history of team sports has gotta serve as the ultimate consolation prize. And if anyone deserves it, it’s him.
- Mark Cuban recently made an appearance on national radio during which he admitted to past marijuana use and came to the defense of embattled swingman Josh Howard’s offseason sessions. Personally, I commend his support of his players and completely agree with his outlook, but c’mon Mark, your team’s season was reminiscent of The Benefactor and they need to get their act together. This is not the way to set a stern example.
- Reggie Miller is insufferable. He forces viewers to endure his irrelevant comments, terrible jokes and John Madden-ish obvious statements, all delivered in a whiny voice. At least five times every game he says something that makes me seriously wonder how he and whoever at TNT decided to put a mic in his hand still have jobs.
- The favourites? I’ve been saying the Lakers for a while now and I’m still convinced. Thing is, they look like the closest thing to a favourite but they're far from a lock to even win the West. They’ve got a long way to go against the Spurs, but they looked more like the Lakeshow we’ve seen all year in the second half of Game 1 and came from twenty down against San Antonio to win. Come on. Nobody fucking does that against the Spurs. Letting Duncan get his (which inevitably happens) and focusing on limiting Parker and Ginobili’s penetration seemed to work. All of a sudden getting key contributions from The Machine on D couldn’t hurt either. The tell-tale fact is that the Spurs needed Kobe to disappear for a half to get an edge before he kindly reminded them not to get used to it. If they can get a monster game from Timmy, have Kobe drop deuce in the first half, hold a 20-point lead and still lose, they need to revise their game plan. But it’s the Spurs we’re talking about here, of course they will. I just can’t bet against the Zen Master, currently 40-0 in series where he draws first blood.
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